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20 Things You Should Not Say to Your Spouse (part 2)

We covered the things husbands should not say to wives on Wednesday, but I sure don’t want to leave the wives out! Don't go there - what not to say to your spouse

 10 Things Wives Should Not Say to Their Husbands

1. You’re not doing it right. Translation: you’re not doing it the way I do it. This is a fast-track to getting  a personal invitation to do it the right way – as only you can do it.

2. Your wearing that? Nobody likes to be criticized no matter how stylelisticly-challenged they are. Skip the condemnation and go right to the suggestion. No sense giving him an excuse to not have to go to the place he probably wasn’t thrilled about going to from the get-go. .

3. Any sentence that starts with “you always” or “you never” and ends with a negative. He’ll miss most of the lecture because he’s busy planning his defensive response before you finish the first sentence.

4. My mother warned me you’d do this. Nice. Now he’s mad at your mother, too. Long after you and he are on the other side of the tiff he’s wondering what else your mother’s whispering about him behind his back. Leave your mother out of it.

5. I agree with your mother on this. Ah, the ‘ol teamwork double punch. Great for brownie points with your mother-in-law. Not so great for the car ride home. Leave both mothers out of it.

6. Which of my friends do you find most attractive? Half of you are rolling your eyes thinking “what woman in her right mind would ask that question?” The other half are acknowledging they weren’t in a stable place when they did ask – or thought about asking. Nothing positive can come from any response he makes. If he says “none of them” you’ll assume he’s lying. If he picks someone ugly, you’re offended at his bad taste and wonder what it says about you. If he picks the beautiful/witty/fun-loving one, what’s your first thought the next time you see them chatting together? It’s a stupid question.

7. Does this make me look fat? (You knew it would be here, didn’t you?) If you suspect that your outfit makes you look fat, it probably does. Go change. This will spare your mate having to decide between annoying you with the truth or delivering a kind lie that results with you going out in public looking fat.

8. I left you a “Honey-Do” list. This was probably cute the first time you said it. And it’s totally acceptable if he requests such a list. But the cuteness quotient diminishes at a rate that corresponds directly with the number of times it’s said and the number of people you say it in front of.

9. What earrings look better with this outfit? It will only leave you annoyed when he answers so quickly it is clear he did not have time to make the proper comparison in order to give you an informed opinion. You may substitute the word “earrings” for any of the following: purse, shoes, sweater, any other form of apparel.

10. Any sentence that starts with “I’ve told you a hundred times.” What’s the point? Do you think the 101st time will result in magical enlightenment? I’m pretty sure it was perceived as nagging somewhere around the 37th time you mentioned it.

And that completes my list for 20 things you should not say to your spouse. Hopefully these guidelines will assist you in having a pleasant, conflict-free weekend!

Please let me know what I left off either (or both) lists in the comments section below.

 

Shel Harrington
 

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