5 Fun Ways to Surprise Your Mate

Posted by: Shel Harrington 3 July, 2013 12 Comments

            It’s so easy to take the one we love for granted. We go through our busy days doing what we usually do and expecting our mate to doSurprise your mate what they usually do. One way to keep things fresh and let your mate know you appreciate them is to put a surprise in their day. Just a little unexpected gesture that is sure to put a smile on their face. Below are five fun ways to surprise your mate – and they’re free!

1.       Put a message in their food. Get creative. This can be done with mustard or ketchup on an open bun, spaghetti noodles, blueberries lined up, cucumbers cut into letters – anything. Create a heart, a few words, a happy face, a junior-high-style your initials + their initials. Some time back I grabbed the breakfast pastry my husband had put on a plate for me and had it half-way in my mouth when my he gasped. “What??” With indignation he said, “You didn’t even read it.” Who reads a Toaster Struedel? Pulling it out of my mouth before chomping, I saw the precious “I (heart) you” he had written in frosting. I almost ate his love without noticing!

2.      Mail them a letter. If your mate is the one who gets the mail, post them an old-fashioned hand-written note. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate – a funny card or a few words telling them how special they are. Who doesn’t smile when they see a non-bill colorful envelope with their name on it?

3.      Give them an unexpected chuckle. Prop up a funny note or a silly cartoon in an unexpected place. The inside of the toilet lid or seat is probably a location where one wouldn’t expect to see a personal message. Other options include the steering wheel of their car, in a cookie jar you know they’ll be raiding, or in place of the marker in the book they’re reading – we’re shooting for quirky here.

4.      Beat them to their chore. We often unconsciously divide up labors and without ever discussing it both mates have duties that have become their job. Taking out the trash, making the next morning’s coffee, emptying the dishwasher are part of the routines. Shake things up by beating your mate to that mundane task that is on their side of the unofficial roster. They see that you appreciate it getting done on a regular basis, you get the enjoyment of their surprised smile.

5.      Change their view. Upload a favorite picture, a scene from a movie they love, or scenery from a place they want to go and set it as their screensaver. (This assumes you are not replacing a beloved parent or departed pet, of course.)

I practice what I preach. Here is the cartoon my husband recently found when he opened his cooler. I had a note attached to it that said: “How NOT to give a compliment!”

How NOT to give a compliment!
How NOT to give a compliment!

Related:   5 Ways to Make Your Mate Feel Great         5 Ways Unique Ways to Compliment Your Spouse

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12 Comments

  • You are so on the nose with #4. I emptied the dishwasher one night–a chore my husband usually does–and I was amazed how touched he was. I try to do so many other things that fail to get the desired effect that putting some dishes in the cabinets received. I didn’t know it was part of his love language.

    • Shel Harrington

      It really takes so little, doesn’t it? That last bit cracked me up – I’ll now be thinking of making my huz’s morning coffee (I don’t drink coffee) as part of the love language we speak!

  • I like that many of your suggestions–in this post and others–are practical and involve little cost. This week there was an article in the paper telling how one particular couple overcame empty-nest doldrums in their marriage by buying his and her houses! I think making the coffee or emptying the dishwasher is a lot more do-able for most couples.

  • A divorce lawyer who doesn’t like divorce~ what a great combination! Your suggestions are practical and fun, too. Are you familiar with Mary Zalmanek’s book THE ART OF THE SPARK (her website is Adventures of the Heart) You two should connect and tag-team bringing fresh enthusiasm and fun to relationships.

    • Shel Harrington

      I’m not familiar with that book, but it sounds like a great resource for clients – I’ll go check out Mary Zalmanek’s site. Thanks for the suggestion and for stopping by, Marilyn!

  • These are terrific! We often do lunchbox notes – well, admittedly, my Hub often does the notes because he’s been the lunch-duty guy around here for the last year. He gives our daughter one most days and I often get one, too.
    These others I want to try – the funnies in unexpected places and the old-fashioned letter. Such a lost art!
    We do have a fun and silly game we play – we have a silly looking little stuffed zebra that we take turns hiding in strange places in the house – the kitchen cabinet, the coffee container, the underwear drawer – and it has kept going for years. Our daughter has now entered the game too, which is totally fine. Keeps everybody laughing!