We’re so busy we don’t have time for each other. Oh, we carve out moments here and there, but we must be quick because we have a slew of other matters waiting for our all-important attention. We quickly listen to each other, but we don’t hear. We lob information to the other that is never received. It’s not enough to be in the same place at the same time – we have to be present for each other.
My pastor tossed out a phrase in a recent sermon that has stuck with me: Behold Me Busy. Wow – what an elevated status! I think sometimes, in our heads, the words ‘busy’ and ‘important’ are interchangeable. The pastor was referring to how we go through life not truly connecting with others. It made me think about how we go through our own homes the same way – passing by our mates in a state of busy-ness that is a barrier to our being present for the other.
How many conversations do we start with: “I only have a minute but . . . ?” Which could be interpreted as: “How fortunate you are that I am fitting you into my busy schedule to convey this very important message.” (Behold Me Busy!) You have put them on notice that there is only time for a short conversation and you need to go first in case time runs out. They can respond later when you have another minute. Or, they can call you on your cell phone – and leave a message at the sound of the beep
To be present for the other means to be deliberate in our communication. Texting while watching a show together, ‘pinning’ while sharing ice cream, chatting on the phone while shopping together all send your mate the message (to use a tired expression) ‘you’re just not that into me.’
So in those precious moments you have together, put down the phone, turn off the computer, and ignore – just during this limited shared time – the text alerts. Being deliberately present during your interactions may not increase your time together, but it will enhance it.
Have an idea on how to be more present when you are with your mate? Please share it in the comment section below.
ON A DIFFERENT TOPIC, I had the pleasure of being a guest on Brandi Barnett’s blog for her summer-salad roundup. Because time is such a treasured commodity, my tasty blast-from-the-past dish has only 4 ingredients and whips up so fast it’ll be made before you can utter “Behold Me Busy!” Click here to check it out.