Friday Five

Shel Harrington's Friday FiveFridays are special. No time to read long, dragged out messages. We want quick. We want pithy. We want to head into the weekend with a smile on our face.

So to honor Fridays, I am starting this new feature – Friday Five. It may be informational, entertaining, inspirational, or some combination. It may be five related thoughts, or five random topics. But it will be short. And it will leave you with a new thought, idea, or smile on your face.

Up first, five of my favorite 2013 tips from various posts that will serve you well in 2014.

1. From 20 Things You Should Not Say to Your Spouse (Part 2): “You’re not doing it right.” Translation: “You’re not doing it the way I do it.” This is a fast-track to getting a personal invitation to do it the right way – as only you can do it.

2. From When to Dump the Date – 6 Red Flags: Red flag: You become their incentive to get fixed. Problems with alcohol, drugs, gambling, or any other type of addiction should be a dating deal-breaker. And yet, you’re in love. You hear yourself utter the ultimatum: “If you don’t get help for your problem with [fill in the vice], I’m going to stop dating you.” NO, NO, NO. You have that backwards. Flip that sentence right around: “I am going to stop dating you. I hope you get help with your problem.”

3. From 7 Behaviors Couples Should Avoid: Unnecessary contradictions. During spouse’s story about falling in front of a red door, you interrupt to point out the door was green. Well, that was helpful. Spouse carries on describing the tall man with big glasses who yanked the door open. You clarify that the glasses were actually goggles. Leaving your audience with a mental “So what?” If the correction isn’t significant or necessary, squelch it.

4. From Social Media and Marriage – The Good, the Bad, and Even Some Ugly. A negative – “catching up with” old flames. You tell yourself you’re going to see if they’re online – just to see what they’re up to. There they are! You tell yourself you’ll just say ‘hi.’ It’s okay to just check in and see how they’re doing, right? No. It’s not. Would it be oklay with you if you found out your spouse was ‘facebooking’ with a prior romantic partner? Most people don’t plan to have a physical or emotional affair – intimacy evolves one innocent step at a time. Don’t take the first step.

5. From 5 Ways to Stop the Fight Before it Starts: Pull a picture out of your pocket. A really cute one of the two of you together. Hold it up in front of your face. Now who can argue with that? Having such a picture in your pocket at all times will also serve as insurance – kind of like how it never rains when you actually have an umbrella with you!



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Shel Harrington

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