My husband gets me. We get each other. He would never buy me anything baby blue or pastel pink to wear. I wouldn’t gift him silk pajamas. If he sees a movie before me, I ask him if I would like it – confidant that his response will serve me well. I am his personal taster when it comes to spicy foods – he counts on me to let him know if it has more heat than he would enjoy. After 35 years of marriage, we are often in sync. However – that was not always the case!
We only think we know someone when we’re dating. Sometimes we’re silly enough to think we have it mastered in the first few years of marriage. Mastery is an elusive goal – we just keep learning over the years. But some lessons are learned quicker than others. Here are 5 lessons I learned early on in my marriage:
1. If arguing about who starred in a movie (or other equally important topics) – especially if the discussion has moved past the bantering stage – don’t ask a stranger in the elevator to declare who’s right. Being the one declared right will not result in victory.
2. When asked what you’d like for birthday, Christmas, or anniversary, don’t coyly say: “Nothing.” Unless, of course, that is exactly what you
would like to receive.
3. When asked what you’d like for birthday, Christmas, or anniversary, don’t say: “Surprise me!” Not all surprises are good.
4. Stating with moral superiority: “God can hear what you’re saying right now, you know” will result in you hearing that phrase many, many, many times for years to come.
5. Being told: “It’s delicious!” doesn’t necessarily mean “make it again and make it often.” Sometimes it just means: “I love you and I appreciate that you tried.”
So, if you are a newlywed, hopefully I saved you some time and a not-so-good surprise. If you have been married longer, you probably have a list of your own lessons learned early in your marriage! I hope you’ll share your list with us in the comment section below.
ON ANOTHER MATTER – I know that sometimes I can be just too subtle – so if you want to know what I really think about marriage, please click here to check out my recent guest post on author Angela Ruth Strong’s blog!