10 Ways to Get to Divorce Court Without Beating Your Spouse or Having an Affair
With divorce rates hovering over the 50% mark, do we really need instruction on how to get to divorce court? Apparently, finding that path is not a problem. The problem is that many do not knowingly choose the path – they wake up one day and find themselves on it. As a family law...
5 Reasons NOT to Marry
As we head into June, one of the most romantic months of the year, you may be trying to decide whether to pop the question or how to answer the question that was popped. You may be feeling that almost everything is wonderful about the relationship – with just a few small exceptions. Well, we...
Are You Wearing a Mask in Your Relationship?
Fat Tuesday. Some are putting on masks and wrapping themselves in beads to appear happy or mysterious. Some of the masks are beautiful. But they’re temporary. They’re decoration. They’re an illusion. Somebody presenting themself differently than who they are. Masks can be fun for a short time. We look different. Which sometimes makes us momentarily...
The Magic Eye of Marriage
Remember those Magic Eye books and pictures that were everywhere in the early 1990s? Like the picture above, they were chaotic blurs of colors, shapes and seemingly abstract patterns. The promise was that if we looked at the two-dimensional picture in the right way, we would see a three-dimensional image emerge before our very eyes!...
The Power of a Compliment
Recently I was one of two speakers at a luncheon program. Later that afternoon, I received an email from my co-speaker – a professional whom I admire – that started out: “You’re wonderful!” The writer added a couple of lines about the highlights of my presentation contribution. While I don’t consider myself wonderful, I certainly...
Marriage: The Power of Two
Do you know what a ‘Pony Pull’ is? I had never heard of it until our pastor mentioned it in a sermon last Sunday. The description reminded me of a truism in marriage. A pony pulling contest can be seen at fairs and festivals in towns like Perry, Oklahoma and Shipshewana, Indiana. There are rules...
5 Things NOT to Ask When They Tell You They’re Getting a Divorce
If someone asks for your advice when they are contemplating divorce, respond if you like. Or if someone you are very close to is heading down a catastrophic path and you and other loved ones are trying to help, it’s your call whether or not to say something. But if a casual friend, acquaintance, co-worker,...
ALIMONY 101
In the olden days, couples got divorced and the man paid alimony – it was a given. Flash forward a few decades. Now there are criteria the judge explores before awarding alimony – if alimony is even going to be awarded. And yet, many still think that spousal support (another name for alimony) is going...
Marital Spats – Why it’s Crucial that YOU get the Last Word!
It is crucial to have the last word in a marital tiff. It’s control. It’s power. We all know that the one who speaks last wins. The following conversation really took place. I have removed the real names of the speakers. Not to protect anybody – I just didn’t have the time...
STOP THE WEDDING! 4 Questions to ask Before You Say “I Do”
Actually, these questions should be asked before you even say “I might.” Once the invitations have been sent out and a deposit has been made on the reception hall, it becomes more difficult to get honest discourse about expectations after marriage. By the time the flowers have been ordered and the gifts start arriving, the...