Date Busters
You’re right on track with your New Year’s Resolution to have a regular date night with your spouse. You have a list of great date ideas, you both have set aside that special night, and you’re both looking forward to it. So what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing – if you avoid the following Date Busters!
1. Being late. Sure, stuff happens. But it doesn’t have to be stuff that could be avoided with some simple planning. Don’t take that last minute call. Avoid the temptation to do a quick errand en route. Nothing says “you’re special” like demonstrating your eagerness to spend your date time with the one you love by being on time.
2. Talking too much shop. Whether your job is in the house or out, talking too much about your daily frustrations or detailed accounts of activities that your spouse wasn’t part of can be a date-downer. There’s nothing wrong with sharing info with each other about what’s going on for you, of course. But part of the getting out together is to connect and focus on each other – and have some fun.
3. A roving eye. You know – eying appreciatively other good lookers. And don’t give me lame excuses like I can look as long as I don’t touch or I’m only human or I may be looking but I’m HERE with (oh-so-lucky) him/her. Ogling others in the presence of your mate is just plain disrespectful.
4. Not turning off the electronics. You knew this would be on the list, right? It should have been number one, but I didn’t want to start out with something so obvious. The exceptions to the rule are if your sitter needs to be able to contact you, it is mandatory for your employment, or there is a potential emergency that you are waiting for word on. And even then, there should be an agreement that you will only take calls that fit into the designated category – all others can leave a message at the sound of the beep.
5. Forgetting your manners. In addition to the basics of please and thank you, pull out the old-fashioned courtesies. Opening the door for your mate, assisting up a curb, pulling out a chair, and – as important – allowing your mate to open the door, assist you and pull out your chair.
What behavior do you consider a Date Buster?
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The electronic thing is the THE worst. And I am guilty. I’ve gotten so not having my phone (mini-computer!) is like not having my purse. Best for the date night? Leave purse AND phone behind…hahahahaha. He gets all my attention and gets to pick up the tab! BTW, even if date night is at home, when us-time begins, that phone’s gotta go to bed for the night. 😀
I like that you extend the ‘rule’ to home ‘dates,’ too. I’m not sure when our society got so obsessed with knowing minute-by-minute if somebody’s thinking of them, but if it’s an important thought the message will be there in the morning!
These are all great, Shel! Talking about your ex is a major no no in my book.
Oh, yah – that wouldn’t be good!
Absolutely love this post. And it’s not just for marrieds…I watch young folks in restaurants, obviously on a date, but spending the majority of the evening texting. Yikes! 🙁
Doesn’t it make you want to go up to their table and say: “Excuse me – life is short. Why don’t you enjoy the one you’re with??” Everybody’s so afraid they’re missing something somewhere else! And, unfortunately, some of those ‘young folks’ are way old enough to know better! (Whew! Thanks for letting me vent, DiAne – I feel so much better!)
Not turning off the electronics.
In my opinion, this is a problem in all sorts of social situations, and I can be just as guilty as the next person. I don’t want to lose my ability to give someone my full attention! Thanks for the reminder.
I agree – it’s a bit of an epidemic. It seems especially sad to me, though, to see a couple out at a restaurant, sitting across from each other, each focused on the phone in their own hand versus their date.