How To Write A Love Letter To Your Spouse – And Why You Should

Posted by: Shel 26 Comments
How to Write a Love Letter

Your mate deserves a love letter from you. Words they can hold in their hand and press against their heart. Words that last past the saying of them. Words that can hearten them in tough times and make them smile in sad times.

When the tornadoes, floods, and fires hit, what do people grab in the precious moments before destruction? It’s not the $200 bedspread or the slick leather boots. It’s the pictures, the letters, and the other irreplaceable sentimental momentos. Your letter will be among them.

Many of you can sit down right now and effortlessly craft a lovely note to your spouse letting them know how special they are – and I hope you will do just that. The rest of us could use a little help getting started.

First, there’s not a right way. While I think hand-written notes are hard to beat, that may not be an option for everyone. Length is up to you – anything from one amazing line, to a few paragraphs, or even multiple pages.

You can find options to write on in the greeting card section of stores that have interesting pictures or sayings on the cover and are blank inside – just waiting for your personalized words. Stationery or notecards work just as well. Don’t let a lack of fancy paper stop you – your wonderful note will be just as appreciated and cherished if it’s on notebook paper or a napkin!

So you’ve got the paper, the pen and the willing spirit – now where do you get the content? Here are some ideas:

  • Brainstorm a list of what you love about your mate. (Those of you who took the 30-Day Gratitude Challenge can look back at your existing list) Just write – don’t think and edit. There’s no such thing as too sappy or corny when it’s for your eyes only. Now look over that list. What would you like your mate to know? What will make them feel special? What would you want your mate to convey to you if they had written the list?
  • Check out some romantic poets. Copy a poem for your mate and tell them why that poem made you think of them.
  • Lyrics from songs sometimes express perfectly how you feel. Use them.
  • Are there lines from a movie that you find meaningful? Share them with an explanation of why these special words triggered thoughts of them
  • Put “Love Letters” in the search on Pinterest – read some to get ideas
  • Google ‘quotes about love’ for inspiration

The content doesn’t have to be original* – it just has to be a sincere representation of how you feel.

Summary of love-letter writing ‘rules:’

  1.  Hand-write if possible, type if not
  2. Any paper is fine to use (except toilet paper)
  3.  Just do it
  4. Repeat on occasion whether needed or not

*I’m not saying it’s OK to claim another’s work as your own – but it’s okay to use it for ideas, inspiration or to quote from citing the source.

Have you ever received a love letter from your spouse? Have you written one lately?

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  • […] to your spouse. Whether it is your gift to your mate, or you each write one to trade, writing a  a love letter to your spouse  is a true treasure. BONUS: It is a portable, irreplaceable gift that has the power to keep on […]

  • […] How to Write a Love Letter to Your Spouse (and Why You Should) […]

  • I pinned the 30 day challenge, and I confess: I used to write to my husband all the time in high school. Time has passed and we assume we don’t need to write anymore because we see each other every night. I think this is a brilliant idea. Thank you! Stopping by from the #ffonething link-up.

    • Shel Harrington

      One of the nice things about maturing love is there is SO much more to write about – there’s a depth to our mates that only gets revealed as time passes. Which means there’s a lot more to look forward to! I’m delighted you stopped by Maria – I’m enjoying the interaction with with the OneThing link-up bloggers!

  • Thank you for linkup up to the #ffOneThing linkup 🙂 I love this idea!! Last year for Valentines Day I wrote a blog post about my husband. We don’t normally give gifts but plan special things together instead, but i think I might just write him a love letter or two – and not just for Valentines Day because I don’t like to save the good stuff for special occasions. Thanks for the idea!

    • Shel Harrington

      Thanks for stopping by, Michelle – I love the idea of linking up to share a one-thing focus. I enjoyed the blogs I visited.

      Because you and your husband don’t generally exchange gifts, you may enjoy my most recent post: A Dozen Roseless Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas (That are Outside the Chocolate Box). It’s not your traditional “gifts” and the ideas can be used for any occasion – or NONocassion! What made me think of it is that one suggestion is gluing a love letter to the inside back cover of the book your mate’s reading – for a very happy ending! Here’s the link in case you want to check out the other 11!

  • I love the idea of writing a love note to your spouse. With all of the craziness of everyday life, especially with kids, it can be easy to leave out the romance. I think spelling out what you love about and are thankful for about your spouse is a great way to reconnect and let them know you are still as in love with them as when you first said “i do.”

  • Great reminder! I think after you have been married for a while and have kids, you are so busy and forget to take the time to appreciate your husband. My husband would probably think a love letter on toilet paper was funny though!

    • Shel Harrington

      A happy laugh with a lovely sentiment is a great combination, Karen – just make sure he doesn’t read it in the rain! Many of my posts are about ways to NOT take our spouses for granted – I think it’s one of the most important contributors to long (enjoyable!) marriages. Thanks for visiting – I hope you’ll stop by again!

  • […] Happily-ever-after book ending. Draft a Love Letter and glue it to the back inside cover of the book they’re reading for a very special […]

  • I just wrote a love note. It’s something I’ve never felt very good at. But just like with any writing, you get better with practice. You’re making me want to find an anthology of love poetry. That would be nice for daily reading, and would maybe infuse some eloquence into my love notes!

    • Shel Harrington

      If you find an anthology that impresses you, Sonia, let me know – I’d love to be able to pass on the info to other note-crafters!

  • Lindsey Vanhooser

    Great post! I agree that there is just something unique and invaluable about handwritten notes! I enjoy writing sincere personalized notes to the people around me who I love, in cards to share with them their amazing qualities that I appreciate. However, my precious boyfriend… not so much. He succinctly signs most cards “love Derek”. The cute part is that he puts SO much thought into the gift, but the card, to him, is really just an obligatory socially required formality. He is such a pragmatic person in all he does, I can imagine in his head he is thinking “what else need I say, she knows the gift is from me, and that I love her!”
    However, since he knows how much I cherish little notes, I will find one hidden somewhere every once in a while. I so cherish those notes, and those from family and friends who take the time to hand write something. Although typed out notes are so sweet, and should not be discarded, your post is a good reminder of the importance of good old fashioned handwritten notes. It is also a reminder of how important it is to understand our own love language and how we must pay attention to reciprocate our partner’s love language. I know I am grateful for my man who pays attention to it and reciprocates!

    • Shel Harrington

      He sounds like a keeper, Lindsey! And I totally agree with you that we need to understand the ‘love language’ dynamic and acknowledge that we have to really tune in to the other to determine what works for them. If they’re doing the same, we have two happy people!

  • good suggestions as always!

    • Shel Harrington

      Thanks, Lin – I appreciate both you and your input!

  • Yes yes, a thousand times yes! Love letters are like oxygen to me. Can I tell you a quick story? Part of my husband’s job is to write legal testimony and all kinds of formal, detailed, rigid stuff for the State. Last week he completely surprised me with a sort of skeleton of such work, all filled in with love letter stuff as if he were testifying to the Commissioners his undying love for me, my qualifications, etc. LOL So creative! I was crying and laughing the whole time I read it. He is amazing, and I am lucky. Three cheers for love letters! xoxo Great post Shel.

    • Shel Harrington

      Oh my gosh, Marie – that is crazy creative! Being a lawyer, I imagined right away how lovely/comical/touching such ‘testimony’ would be. You are, indeed, a blessed woman and (based on your level of appreciation) I suspect that Mr. Marie is just as blessed!

  • This is a beautiful idea, Shel. Thanks for clarifying “Except toilet paper.” 🙂

    • Shel Harrington

      I didn’t want to get complaints about how the paper kept tearing!

  • Gina Kishur

    Mine makes music for me, and is the King of romantic cards. I, on the other hand, am sorely lacking. I have started the gratitude challenge, and will use your ideas on Pinterest and love quotes. Thanks!

    • Shel Harrington

      Music? How neat is that? So have you recorded some for your own personal audio love letter?

  • My guy has written me poems – he even had one published in the newspaper on my 40th birthday. Most of his poems are corny and totally unshareable, but they still entertain me. <3

    Good post!

    • Shel Harrington

      That is really special – you do, indeed, have a good guy (says someone who knows!)

  • “Except toilet paper”…too funny, Shell! Great tips! I have a collection of love “notes” from my true love. I keep them in a special decorative box.

    • Shel Harrington

      That’s so neat, Jill – I bet they’d be one of the first things you grabbed if for some reason you needed to evacuate quickly. Hopefully, you’ll never have to test my theory!!

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