Why I’m Coming Out Of The Cancer Closet
Earlier this year I was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer. There was no anger, no “why me?” I went straight to self-blame and a list of what I didn’t want. I didn’t want people to know. I didn’t want people who love me to hurt. I didn’t want to be called a ‘cancer victim.’...
Calling All Spouses: The 30-Day Gratitude Challenge
Remember the ‘Gratitude Journal?’ It made it’s debut 10-15 years ago on a popular talk show. It was a simple concept: each day write down things you are grateful for. I didn’t buy the official Gratitude Journal and I don’t remember if there were official rules, but my take was to write down five things every day...
5 Lessons I Learned Early in Marriage
My husband gets me. We get each other. He would never buy me anything baby blue or pastel pink to wear. I wouldn’t gift him silk pajamas. If he sees a movie before me, I ask him if I would like it – confidant that his response will serve me well. I am his personal...
Is Snooping on Your Spouse OK?
Some will automatically respond: “Absolutely not – that is an invasion of privacy that marriage doesn’t overcome.” Others, just as quickly, will answer; “Of course it’s okay – there shouldn’t be secrets between spouses.” I think the answer is a firm: “Hmmm – it depends.” Being married does not entitle us to know every thought,...
5 Things to Take With You to Family Court
Thursday’s list of what not to take to Family Court may have left thinking you should show up to the big event empty-handed. Not so! There are a few things you can take with you to court that will make you more comfortable – or at least less uncomfortable. Following are five suggestions. 1. Communication...
8 Things to Leave at Home When You Go to Family Court
Appearing in Family Court can be a nerve-wracking experience. Our focus is on what we want to tell the judge, what others might say, and how things will turn out. It’s easy to forget details that can matter – like showing up with things that won’t help your case. Following is a list of 8...
Behold Me Busy
We’re so busy we don’t have time for each other. Oh, we carve out moments here and there, but we must be quick because we have a slew of other matters waiting for our all-important attention. We quickly listen to each other, but we don’t hear. We lob information to the other that is never...
20 Things You Should Not Say to Your Spouse (part 2)
We covered the things husbands should not say to wives on Wednesday, but I sure don’t want to leave the wives out! 10 Things Wives Should Not Say to Their Husbands 1. You’re not doing it right. Translation: you’re not doing it the way I do it. This is a fast-track to getting a personal...
20 Things You Should Not Say to Your Spouse (Part 1)
Words are powerful tools that can be used to lift our mates up and celebrate our unions. They can also be vicious weapons more cutting than the sharpest saber. Used thoughtlessly they can create unintended conflict. To help avoid some of that conflict, I’ve put together a collection of statements that should not be uttered...
5 Painless Ways to Save Money for Some Marital Bliss
Two major marital stressors are finances and spouses not spending enough meaningful time together. We keep getting advice to date our mates or take little getaways to reconnect and celebrate the relationship – but that costs money. And our money is already spoken for. But if we don’t find a way to finance a little...